Fangirls Are Scary
by Shade the Hero
Summary: What is the most dangerous threat for a popular hero to face? A monstrous beast? A cunning foe? Or a pack of wild fangirls? Find out how a group of such characters survive the frightening holiday known as Valentine's Day.


_Kingdom Hearts and all characters belong to Square Enix and Disney. Reference to the 'Too Sexy' scene is from the fanfiction: "The Lost Archives_" which _belongs to ElectroNerd. ;3_

_Enjoy!_

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**Fangirls Are Scary**

He didn't dare look back as he kept running. Why hadn't anyone told him it was today! He knew he wouldn't be safe out in the open. He needed a good place to hide, but the question was, where?

"I can't believe today's finally here!" came a female voice in the distance.

The silverette skidded to a halt and froze. Crap! He couldn't go that way. He turned down another alley and kept running.

"Do you think he'll like these sweets?" asked another female voice.

"Only an idiot doesn't like chocolate," replied another girl. "I just hope my man gives me a bouquet of roses. They're the greatest flowers ever!"

Again the silver-haired teen had to change his course and avoid more girls. He didn't know if they were his fans or not, but he wasn't about to take that chance.

He cursed to himself as the alley came to an end and there was nothing but open sidewalk in front of him. He bit his lip and pushed through at full throttle, hoping to make it to the alley on the other side of the street unnoticed.

Fate however was a very cruel lady.

"THERE'S RIKU!"

"No way!"

"Please be mine!"

Riku's eyes grew wide with fright as he turned white as a sheet. These weren't just any girls. They were...FANGIRLS!

The silverette turned and ran like a bat outta hell as the girls stampeded after him. He could feel them thundering after him and suddenly he felt like a lion cub trying to out-run a herd of wildebeests.

Riku dashed into a park. It had a thick cluster of trees and bushes and stood as strong proof that Radiant Garden was once again flourishing.

"I think he went this way!" came a distant shout from a fangirl and Riku cursed once again as he gave up the idea of hiding here.

Suddenly, as Riku rushed by a large cluster of tall bushes a gloved hand reached out, grabbed his arm and pulled him in.

The same gloved hand covered Riku's mouth as a pack of girls came to a stop right outside of their hiding spot.

"Where'd he go?" asked a Blue-eyed brunette.

"He was just here! I saw his gorgeous silver hair," replied another.

"Maybe he darted into that back alley over there!"

Riku listened to the sound of the girls growing distant. Only when silence returned to the park did the hand remove itself and allowed Riku to breathe properly. He took a few grateful gulps of air before looking over at his rescuer.

"That was too close, thanks."

He blinked when he saw who it was and that they were not alone.

Sitting in the cramped space were Cloud, Zack, Lea and Sora.

"Holy crap!" was all Riku could say.

"How'd you all end up here?"

Zack chuckled as he replied for the group. "Dumb luck. I dove into the bushes and crashed into Lea here."

"Which gave me an annoying headache, thanks," replied the ex-nobody.

"It wasn't on purpose," Zack replied with his famous 'kicked-puppy' look.

"Cloud and I teamed up to watch each other's backs until we found a safe place to hide," added Sora.

Riku narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Oh, so you forgot to warn me about today, is that it? Was I suppose to be bait to lure them away from you guys?"

Cloud huffed at the idea, "If that were true you'd still be out there."

"Yeah!" Sora agreed. "Besides, I'd never leave my best friend out to dry like that."

Zack smirked, "You can say that again!" He grabbed Cloud in a headlock and rubbed his fist into the blonde's spiky hair.

"_Zaaaaack, _knock it off!" The blonde warned.

"Hey, did you hear that?" came a female voice.

All five froze in place.

Three sets of legs could be seen through the branches and three of the five warriors suppressed the urge to gulp when they realized who they were.

Tifa placed her hands on her hips as she looked around. She, Aerith and Kairi had decided to search for their sweethearts as a team and away from the herd of crazed fans.

"I just don't get it," Kairi said. "It usually never takes this long to find Sora."

"We'll find them," added Aerith. "I'm sure they're just hiding from all of the other girls. They're pretty...active this year."

Tifa sighed. "It doesn't matter what day it is when it comes to Cloud. He doesn't ever seem to be around when you need him. Sometimes I don't know why I bother."

From their hiding place, the other four turned to give Cloud a look like he was heartless. He ignored them for the most part. On the inside he felt bad tha the had made Tifa feel that way. She wasn't the reason he was being distant."

Aerith giggled as she patted Tifa on the shoulder. "I don't think you're giving him enough credit. What about the time when he came to rescue you? Wearing a dress no less?"

Sora and Riku's eyes grew wide while Zack and Lea had to bite their lips in order to hold back their laughter. Cloud shot death glares at the four and challanged them to say something.

"Well, I remember when Riku and Sora both have done things for me that was embarrassing. Last year Sora gave me a video to watch that he promised would cheer me up. I had been having a very bad week," Kairi added.

"What was on the tape?" asked Aerith.

Kairi couldn't help but giggle. "Riku was singing 'Too Sexy' and flexing his bare chest and muscles in the mirror."

Aerith laughed and even Tifa giggled at that.

From the hiding place, Riku's face turned red as an apple. Lea and Zack were finding it even harder not to laugh while Sora wanted to hide behind the blonde swordsman from the glare Riku was giving him. He couldn't _believe _Sora had done that to him!

"What about Zack? asked Kairi as she looked over at Aerith. "Has he ever done anything silly like that?"

Aerith only smiled warmly. "Last Valentine's Day," she began. "He waited outside my door and had dressed himself in a puppy costume, complete with floppy ears. We had gotten into a small disagreement the previous night and he did that to make up for it. He had the cutest puppy face and whimpered while holding a _'pwease forgiv meh?'_ sign in his paws."

"D'awww," cooed Kairi.

"Wish Cloud would do something nice like that for me once in a while," Tifa replied.

Aerith clapped her heads then. "Alright. We aren't going to find them here. Let's keep moving. They're bound to show themselves sooner or later."

The other two girls nodded and followed. Aerith cast once last glance at a large cluster of bushes and hid a knowing smirk before following Tifa and Kairi.

When they were sure the girls were gone the five men let out a collective sigh of relief.

"I can't believe it," Zack said, shaking his head. "Is that really how they think of us?"

"I had no idea Tifa felt that way," Cloud admitted.

Lea snickered, "I can't believe you have a thing for dressing up."

"Say that again, I dare you." the blonde threatened.

The spiky red-head took the hint and shut up.

"It's nice to know it made them smile though. So, it was worth it, right?" asked Sora.

Riku sighed. "I guess. I mean, I still wanna knock you upside the head for _filming_ me, but I guess, it was worth it if it made Kairi smile."

Lea nodded. "It's too bad Tifa's taken. I'd ask her out otherwise."

Again Cloud just glared at the red-head.

"Maybe we should do something for them?"

Zack smiled. "I agree! Let's make it up to them for hiding from them."

"We weren't hiding from them, Zack. We were hiding from all the fangirls," replied Cloud.

Riku nodded and looked around. "Think they're still out there?"

"Probably," the blonde replied. "But if we're lucky they found someone else to chase."

"Hope Leon's okay," added Sora. "I haven't seen him at all."

Lea shrugged. "Dunno, but it's his own fault for not using the buddy system like we did."

"We're not buddies," replied Cloud.

"It was a figure of speech," Lea replied. "Get it memorized!" With that he turned and walked away from the group and waved to them without looking back.

Zack took his turned next, placing a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "C'mon, Spike. Let's see if we can find something to give the girls."

Cloud allowed himself to be led away by Zack leaving Sora and Riku alone.

"Let's go Riku, we can look for something to give to Kairi together," Sora offered.

"Not another video."

Both boys laughed at the joke as they turned to leave the park.

The next day the five warriors had learned who had fallen victim to the rampaging fangirls as they read the front page of the _"Radiant Times" _Newspaper.

_Victim recovering in the hospital with bald spots and missing feathers. Stolen property described as a long katana, about seven feet in length, gloves, boots and pieces of his armor had also been stolen. Witnesses report that the fangirls assaulted the victim by plucking feathers from his wing and claiming several strands of his long, silver hair._

_Fin~3_

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_This one-shot was inspired by a set of reviews and messages between me and my friend, ElectroNerd. Riku thought he was being smug by talking back to me and I warned him that no one could save him if I decided to do away with him. He's lucky I was in a good mood while writing this or it could have gone very differently. I also wanted to embarrass Cloud because he tried to help Riku during this time. Fortunately for Riku what happened to him is fan-based while 'UN'fortunately for Cloud, his was canon. I also wanted to make the boys feel bad for constantly ditching the girls. Let's face it, how often did Cloud run or hide from Tifa in KH2? _

_The other inspiration came from the song: Wild Heart, by Sabi. Found it by watching some anime amv's and came across one called "[MEP] Wild Heart - on BAMF Studios youtube channel. (check out their videos, they are awesome!) Happy Valentine's Day everyone! ^_^_


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